In other words, if I can make it, by check, by the right mix, the right amount, the magic key “to find, then everything is fine again, I can just continue as before, and I’m also still good. But until then, the clearest paradox emerges when the suffering so much has spread, that is the need for the actual stop to abstinence. Then, a balancing act really makes our thinking: A voice inside me saying: “actually I don’t want to hear on Yes, but if I want to go on living, I must stop. What do I do so? -I surrender only so far as it is really vital. I stop, but only because I can’t and this with the option. “just to start, when again all in regulated BahNEN runs, and then it just also correctly be fun”.
To all all last I hold and so on to the illusion that I have control over the whole thing and can and want me not to admit, that this cannot work and that this way rather leads me to death as the life, so to fulfill my needs. My will has thus become a tool of control and no longer serves me really to decide myself which really is going to satisfy my longing for the way. I am so still not ready, to look at the cause, geschweige going to make a difference to you. And I still think, if I get the symptoms under control, the cause will disappear from alone again. We think that of course not really with, but so a strange, in logical concept that often long time looking at the reality makes us impossible is unconscious. One Change is really only possible even if I recognize and can admit in front of me, I don’t really want the transformation, the change and that this is the main reason for this was that nothing changed. To my not Verandernwollen as a gambler, not really to get away from the drug or the other substitute and live without him, so is cause for the seemingly Unveranderliche. My persistent after searching, to find a way kontrolliert, successful and happy of course continue to be able to take, is thus responsible for the fact that I myself do not change. This imperative prerequisite is willingness and a really strong inner desire to convert. If we encounter strong Widerstande in our development, we do well to question these qualities on their presence. It is recommended that our willingness to change in any everyday area, where our desire to fruition not to change, to check not only in the case of an addiction history, that stands us as not going so drastically in the eye.